MCA #3, Wednesday Afternoon

[uncertain_dume]

So... it was finally Kanan's turn to inherit the singing monstrosity. Which was almost fitting, in away. After all, he'd 'won' the thing by singing. Monstrously.

Kanan's time with the fish started, probably predictably, with a round of The Song That Doesn't End blaring directly into his mind, followed by a small fireworks display and a sudden vomit of glitter and confetti.

It had gotten worse from there.

He was looking slightly irritated by the time he made it to the door of his apartment, with the fish screaming Sabotage and stinking like pumpkin spice from under one armpit. He'd tried shutting it up by smashing it against a brick wall on the way - a move he'd never admit to - and the fish had healed from the damage.

So. Day one of his week with the fish had officially begun.

He could already hear his dog crying on the other side of the door.

[OOC: OPEN. COME VISIT. WHAT A FISH.]

Comments

[spectre_alenko]

Kaidan followed, standing. "Come here," he directed, quietly but firmly, moving in to hug his most stubborn friend, "This is one of those times you accept the hug."

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan stayed put, letting Kaidan put his arms around him, and heaved a sigh that was maybe a touch more shuddering than he would have liked.

"Glad we cleared that up," he muttered.

Was he talking about the meaning of family? Was he talking about what the Order had meant to him? Was he talking about when to just accept the hug? He wasn't going to clarify, no.

[spectre_alenko]

"Kanan - what was her name?" Kaidan asked.

[uncertain_dume]

"Depa." The word had left his mouth before Kanan had even realized he'd opened it to speak, and it was followed with an even smaller, maybe a little more fragile, "Master Depa Billaba, of the Jedi High Council."

There was pride behind all that, all the same. Something fierce. Something Caleb.

He'd always been proud of her. He'd always been in awe of the fact that she'd chosen him. She'd given him an entire world of meaning to his life that he'd been lacking before. And his world had fallen to pieces when she'd been killed.

[spectre_alenko]

Kaidan nodded, repeating quietly and with compassion, "Master Depa Billaba, of the Jedi High Council." The only mother you had.

He could tell Kanan had stopped trying to strangle his emotions - for the moment. Kaidan just hugged him, maybe a little harder, and waited to see if he'd speak again.

[uncertain_dume]

And Kanan... maybe a little grudgingly, settled into it. His breathing had evened out, at least, but his eyes still seemed to be doing that leaking thing that he just wasn't a fan of.

"Someday we're going to have a conversation that isn't going to end with one of us wanting to shake the other a little bit, you know," he muttered, after a long silence. "Don't know about what. But it'll happen."

[spectre_alenko]

"I'm not holding my breath," Kaidan said easily enough, "You're stubborn."

[uncertain_dume]

"Very," Kanan agreed. "Always have been."

Even Caleb could be an obstinate little guy when he set his mind to it.

[spectre_alenko]

"Yeah, it shows," Kaidan agreed, "You're less stubborn than Wrex, though, so, y'know, I can handle it."

[uncertain_dume]

"Ever sit down with Wrex and have long, messy conversations about parent figures before?"

Because they could totally touch on Okadiah, too. Depa wasn't even the only dead parent-sort-of that Kanan felt guilty about.

[spectre_alenko]

Oh, Kanan. You had, in fact, met Kaidan.

"Yeah, I did," Kaidan answered quietly, "His father betrayed him and tried to kill him. He had some things to work through, too."

[uncertain_dume]

And, because Kanan hadn't quite writhed free yet, he sort of sighed and smacked his face against Kaidan's shoulder.

It was a bit of a reach. Whatever. He'd stay there for a while and hope nobody commented on that damp shoulder, then.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Sounds about right."

[spectre_alenko]

Kaidan certainly wasn't going to comment on it. You probably didn't want to know what he'd do to anyone else who commented on it. He was silent for a moment and then asked, "What sounds about right?"

[uncertain_dume]

"You," Kanan accused, "are a kriffing magnet for people who have 'some things to work through.'"

He was going to start calling him 'Hurricane Alenko' at this rate.

[spectre_alenko]

There was a very long moment of extremely painful silence. "Not me," Kaidan answered, "John was. He saw past the broken in all of us, to the people underneath. It's the only example I have to follow."

Hell, after the 'hey, sorry about that whole your-mother-went-evil-and-I-helped-kill-her conversation' he'd had with Liara, this was easy.

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan tilted his head, leaning back to look at him. He didn't want to be the one to say it, but...

"So, how do you explain this one, then?"

John wasn't here.

[spectre_alenko]

"I see another good person trying to crawl out from under life's wreckage," Kaidan answered quietly, "and I'm doing what John did - reaching out and saying hey, if you need a hand, take mine. Whether you slap it out of the way or grab it is up to you, but no matter how many times you slap it away - it's still going to be there for you until you're out from under the wreckage."

He was very aware John wasn't here. John would handle this.. better. Somehow.

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan sighed and leaned back for another moment still. And then leaned in to hug Kaidan again.

"You're a good man, Kaidan," he muttered. "... And you call me stubborn."

[spectre_alenko]

"You always were stubborn." "Me?!"

"Because you are stubborn," Kaidan pointed out, "I never said I wasn't. Sometimes, that's what it takes. Someone who doesn't let you push them away. You keep saying it - you're stuck with me. One of these days, you might believe that works both ways."

[uncertain_dume]

"Maybe one of these days I will," Kanan allowed. And then he finally pulled away. "... But we've really got to stop having talks like these, buddy."

He wasn't completely sure himself if he was joking or not.

[spectre_alenko]

Kaidan stepped away. He cracked his neck to the right. "When you stop needing to have these talks, we'll stop," he agreed.

Yeah, that was going to go over real well. Kaidan took a long slow breath.

[uncertain_dume]

"And do I get to be the one who decides when I stop needing them?"

Kanan doubted it.

[spectre_alenko]

"As long as you're honest about it, yes," Kaidan agreed, just watching him.

[uncertain_dume]

"I mean," Kanan replied, looking back at him, "I'm still of the opinion that I'm doing about as well as I can be."

Honest.

[spectre_alenko]

"Kanan, you're not doing anything wrong," Kaidan explained gently, "You're absolutely doing the best you can with the coping skills you have. The ones you built. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, but sometimes - sometimes you still need a wrench. I'm trying to help you add to the toolbox."