"I was tired. There was too much to cope with. Drinking shut that down. I was on the run. The Force was a death sentence. Drinking helped blot that out. I cut myself off from everything that made me Jedi. The Force, the image, caring. For all we weren't supposed to form attachments, we were never meant to not care. Not completely."
And then, after a long moment, "Everybody's dead. Apparently I was attached, because losing them damn near killed me anyway. I was terrified of dying, but that doesn't mean I had anything to live for." Another long pause. "New Year's was simpler. The discussion got hard. Drinks made things less hard. There were drinks right there. I wanted a drink."
no subject
Also true. Kanan sighed.
"I was tired. There was too much to cope with. Drinking shut that down. I was on the run. The Force was a death sentence. Drinking helped blot that out. I cut myself off from everything that made me Jedi. The Force, the image, caring. For all we weren't supposed to form attachments, we were never meant to not care. Not completely."
And then, after a long moment, "Everybody's dead. Apparently I was attached, because losing them damn near killed me anyway. I was terrified of dying, but that doesn't mean I had anything to live for." Another long pause. "New Year's was simpler. The discussion got hard. Drinks made things less hard. There were drinks right there. I wanted a drink."