From the Portalocity Office to Mexico City, Wednesday Morning

[uncertain_dume]

Jack was waiting for the other two men at the Portalocity office. Lounging against a wall and twirling a white knit toque with a tassel bobble on top and multi-colored spots around the whole.

Hernando arrived and gave the hat a skeptical look. "We are going to Mexico. You know it is not cold there?"

She smirked. "Oh, I know. It's not for me. It's for ickle. To cover his shame."

That received an odd look. "Why do you call him that? Do I want to know of this shame?"

Jack snickered. "Because he's ickle bickle." She didn't bother to explain further. "You'll see what I mean when he gets here."

Hernando threw her a small grimace of a look. He was almost certain he did not wish to know now. Not if it was the kind of thing that made Jack snicker like that. It could not be good.

Kanan arrived a few minutes later, sporting three days of stubble like the stubborn bastard he was and... you know, very little hair to speak of.

Before he said anything at all, he was absolutely stopping in his tracks and staring at that hat.

And then burying his squishy squishy babyface in one hand.

"I see you actually got it."

Also, hello, all.

Jack smirked and tossed the toque to Kanan. "Did you reaaaaaaaaaaally think I wouldn't, ickle? That says more about you than me."

Hernando blinked at Kanan's..everything above the shoulders. Ah. Regrettable life choices when amnesia weekend was over. Then he decided to be a little brat and dug a 25 peso coin from his pocket and flipped it to Kanan. Shave and a haircut, two bits.

Jedi reflexes were really something else. Kanan still had his hand on his face and his eyes shut when the other hand shot up to catch the hat, then swung back the other way to catch the coin in the same motion.

And then he was looking at it, puzzled.

"Okay, the hat, I understand," he noted. "But what's with the coin?"

Because... space.

Jack leaned in to peek at the coin and cackled when she saw the number on it. Hernando was graced with a 'perhaps you're not entirely worthless' sort of look.

Hernando answered wryly, "It is from a small rhythmic bit used for comedic effect." He hummed the notes. "It is commonly called 'shave and a haircut: two bits', with the 'bits' in question meaning a quarter dollar."

Kanan just kind of stared at the both of them.

And then, heaving a sigh, pulled the hat onto his head and pocketed the coin. Things that got thrown at him were confiscated, dammit.

"Right. So, let's get that portal, shall we?" A pause. "We... might need to make a second trip today," he added, glancing at Jack. "Tomorrow's the day, right?"

"Yeah. 14th," Jack confirmed. "We taking the mi.. Hernando?"

Hernando rolled his eyes at her. "It is Wednesday, you may take me with only if you have me back before 6pm."

"It your bedtime or something?" Jack smirked.

"Sparkle is at work today. The store closes at six. There is a thing I must do," Hernando answered calmly.

Jack tsk'd. "Now, is that any kind of fucking nice, Hernando? You shouldn't call Sparkle a thing."

A put-upon sigh was his only response to that. He looked at Kanan instead, "Would this be enough time for both or shall we arrange for me to come back here after Mexico?"

"We can have you back if you have any interest in wandering a marketplace on another planet," Kanan replied, smiling crookedly. "Your call. I don't have much I need to pick up, but Jack did say something about wanting to abduct a cat or ten."

Jack bobbed her head in a nod. "At least one." Nah. She would like to see them but she didn't plan on any feline heists this trip.

"I would like to see this other planet," Hernando admitted, "if we can be back in time." He beamed for a moment, "It is Valentine's Day tomorrow but I have several days of mischief planned." Little did he know that mischief had a plan for him as well. A much less pleasant one than he had devised.

Jack made a retching noise. "Fuck you both entirely. You're gross." Not really. She was sort of pleased that Hernando was planning a big to-do for Sparkle. He deserved it. Cutting a glance at Kanan, she drawled, "This is not normal. This is high-grade terminal velocity painfully disgusting amounts of schmoop. Do not go there with Hera. I can only handle one fucking annoying self-orbiting couple at a goddamn time, ickle."

Kanan laughed a little and held up his hands in surrender.

"Hera and I aren't going to be going there," he promised. "She doesn't have any intention of getting into a relationship until after we save the galaxy, so..."

You know.

No time soon.

"Thank fuck," Jack said immediately. "A relationship while saving the galaxy is a bad fucking time. Just ask the big damn squish." Sorry, Kaidan. Only not really.

"I have no such galaxy to save," Hernando said with a calm smile, "so I shall simply enjoy my relationship without these endeavors. So when is our portal to Mexico for?"

"About... two minutes," Kanan replied, and... sorry, Jack, he was pulling that hat off his head and stuffing it into the pocket of his long coat for the time being. The coat, of course, to hide the gun that Hernando had insisted he bring. Which was for the best, particularly if Lothal was their next stop. "Plenty of time to work out a game plan. Go in, find chocolate, portal out, find... everything else. Finish this shopping trip with time to spare so that you and your man can do..." He waved a hand around vaguely. "Whatever."

He didn't know. He didn't want to know.

Jack smirked a little when the hat went into a pocket. It really didn't go with the rest of his outfit at all but it had amused her mightily when he had put it on. Which was possibly why he had put it on. Kanan was like that. She was not carrying a gun. She was carrying so many knives that she should by rights jingle when she walked but she had plenty of experience being thus armed.

Hernando was carrying.. His passport and his wallet. He was aware how useless he would be in any conflict. However he also thought perhaps he was the only one here who had a native supply of Mexican cash on hand. American dollars were welcome almost anywhere in Mexico as well but sometimes it was best to not present as a tourist. "It should not find long to find some adequate chocolates," he assured Kanan. "I have several shops in mind in Mexico City and samplings have been arranged at all of them."

Kanan blinked. Looked... appreciative. Maybe a little impressed.

"How many is several?"

That was... that was actual legwork done for his sake. Kanan was kind of touched, actually. Trying not to let it show too much on his stupidly squishy little babyface.

Jack also shot Hernando an appraising look. She had expected to do some wandering in a market or something.

Please. Hernando was a foodie. He was not going to waste his time with inferior chocolatiers. He had done some research to read online reviews and singled out reviews from people who lived in Mexico instead of tourists. "Six," he answered calmly, "With four others for backups. If you find something you like earlier there is no need to go to all of them unless you wish simply to see what the others have to offer. Much of it will be the same but I tried to find some that listed unique spice blends or also offered custom chocolate production within the day. Much of that is truffles or bars, I fear." He had a map on his phone.

"Are they all relatively close to one another?" Kanan reached up and scratched kind of awkwardly at his... annoyingly raspy, kind of itchy cheek. "I can't see us needing to hit ten different places to find just the right chocolate, and we have to actually get from one to the next..."

Help him. He was getting intimidated by romance again.

Hernando gave a palm shrug. "We need not go to all of them if you find something you like earlier. I have them ranked so we are starting at the one with the best overall reviews first. There was no point in starting lower on the list. That is not to say that the others are less good. Simply different styles of chocolate. There are many forms of public transit if we do not wish to walk."

Jack ran a hand over her smooth, freshly-shaven scalp and smirked. "Kind of want to see Kanan after sampling chocolates at ten different places."

Hernando gave her a wry look. "I have seen him sugared up before and I, for one, do not."

"Portal's here," Kanan muttered.

He was going to just eyeroll his way right to Mexico.

Was Jack reaching up to scrub her hand over Kanan's shorn head when she walked past him into the portal? Yes.

Hernando followed the other two. They would come out in a city not so different from any large city. If Kanan or Jack had more familiarity with Earth they would see it was much like Chicago. Only in general much cleaner. Some of the architecture was new and sleek and shiny with glass and chrome but much of it was Baroque or styled thusly with more modern materials. You could not throw a rock without hitting a cathedral done with impressive arches and scrollwork. He glanced around to orient himself. Waiting for the other two, he began leading them from their portal landing into the heart of the city. "The first of the stores is a few blocks ahead."

Kanan followed, gaze drawn curiously toward the cathedral arches and Baroque architecture as they went. He'd seen quite a few Earth cities, mostly through that 'discovering Earth' class he'd mostly just tagged around for with Dr. Lecter, but there was something about just... being there because that was the place to be, walking into unfamiliar territory, that pulled his head back a couple of years.

He was still a drifter at heart, somewhere under all that Jedi.

"Well," he noted, "I like it."

It was pretty. But then, Kanan's bar for 'pretty' had dropped considerably after living on Gorse.

Jack looked around and her expression was unimpressed. The architecture was nice but it was still a city full of people just like every other one. She walked behind her companions. Hands in her pocket and a bored expression on her face.

Hernando lead them to a smaller open plaza mall. The clothing and jewelry on display was higher end and there were notable tourists here. Many people speaking languages other than Spanish. The store he went to had a French name. He stepped inside and was immediately greeted by a clerk. They had a small exchange in Spanish and their party was lead to the far end of the counter. From the back of the store, another clerk arrived with a tray. There were chocolates cut into halves so the interiors could be seen. They appeared filled with a ganache or truffle-like substance.

"This is the Picante Collection," Hernando explained, "Each chocolate has a different chili for spice and is mixed with fruit for sweetness. I.. am not certain it is what you are looking for but it is very well reviewed. It may be purchased as a boxed collection or individual chocolates." Brushing his hair off his forehead, Hernando added, "There are several more shops to try."

Kanan considered the chocolate, already looking faintly overwhelmed. They were... fancy-looking. Too-pretty-to-eat fancy. And that, he realized, was exactly what he was looking for, which kind of made this whole situation an actual, real thing. Here he was, out looking for chocolates for Hera. For, you know. Valentine's day.

"Okay, so... I just..." He gestured to the tray that the clerk arrived with, and then smiled crookedly and reached for one as he was given a nod of confirmation. "Okay, let's see how much of a kick these have, then."

He predicted he'd get maybe three chocolates in before needing to tap someone in who had a more robust mouth.

Hernando considered the tray and then Kanan. He had another rapid exchange with the clerk who smiled and disappeared into the back for some milk. Kanan was not the first person to come in who was unused to spices.

Jack eyed the chocolates. "Which one's the spiciest?" she asked Hernando.

He spoke with the clerk and then pointed to one. "They are set from least spicy to most."

She shrugged and took one of the spiciest. Popped it into her mouth and let it melt for a moment. Gave it some time for the burn to hit. The heat wasn't too strong but the fruit flavor was. She made a face and shook her head. "I feel like I'm eating slightly spiced perfume," she mumbled from around the bite.

Hernando looked at her and took one of the other pieces to try for himself. After a moment he answered, "Passion fruit."

Kanan choked on his (far milder) chocolate.

"It's called what?"

... Kanan. Kanan, honey.

Jack threw him an amused look and pulled up her phone.

Hernando watched Kanan choke and raised his brows. "Passion fruit. It is a small purple fruit, the flower is also purple - flor passionis and so named after the wounds found on Christ. The passion of the Christ." Hernando, space monks don't have Catholic backgrounds, buddy.

Jack pulled up a picture. Side by side an unripe purple passion fruit and next to it the wrinkled tragedy they became when fully ripe and edible. "I think this is on a nope list," she sniggered, "It looks like a choobie." No, that word was not getting old anytime soon, Kanan. Not sorry.

Kanan looked faintly overwhelmed at basically all of that information, and just groped around for the milk that the clerk had brought out for him.

... Sigh, white milk. Still weird.

"Okay, we're going to not go with the passion fruit, because I'm not explaining an obscure Earth religious symbol to Hera just so that she doesn't get the wrong idea," he declared. "What's the next one down?"

Hernando asked the clerk. "The one you ate was mango," he explained, "The next one is papaya. Then cherry and orange and lemon and cherimoya. What did you think of the first one?"

Jack scrubbed a palm over the back of Kanan's head. "She wouldn't. You'd just tell her it's a dumb name for an .." Earth.."edible fruit."

"The first one was good," Kanan reported, giving Jack a sidelong look and smiling crookedly. That... felt weird. On hair that had been long for almost ten years now? That was so weird. "I mean. Good by my standards. I'm not dying a little bit right now. So I don't think mango is the winner, here."

He glanced at the one that had been sitting next to the passion fruit.

Exhaled.

"Let's see where this one goes?"

Yeah, he was going for it. Pray for him.

She knew. That's why she did it. Jack was nothing if not a brat. "You're not breathing fire. It's probably not good enough, that one."

Hernando nodded agreement. "Not strong enough. The one you are about to eat is stronger. It is made with Cherimoya which is a very complex fruit. There should be some in the markets if you choose this one so you can taste the fruit itself. It is.. Hard to describe."

"I might have to," Kanan replied. "The back-up plan at this point is to completely lose my nerve, hit up a market, and get as many weird fruits as I can find."

This, of course, was said while steeling himself. And then popping that chocolate into his mouth. Letting it melt on his tongue. Nodding a little at the fruity flavour - it was less like any one fruit, and more like a combination of many fruits - and then... very slowly, taking a long drink of milk.

...

"Jack?" Another mouthful. "What are your... your thoughts on... that one."

Kanan was a wimp. It was good to know.

Jack took one of the Cherimoya pieces and popped it in her mouth. She made a so/so hand. "Are we looking for something that'll make my eyeballs sweat? Cuz this ain't got it. Flavor's nice otherwise. Kind of like a banana and strawberry and custard and coconut cream got together and had a baby."

Hernando chuckled. "Wait until you try the real one. As I said the flavors are complex." He took a piece of the candy and ate it. Allowed it to melt on the back of his tongue before caressing it across his soft palate. "This is on the small side of a spectrum for Hera, I think."

Kanan gave a small nod in agreement.

"I think she'd enjoy it, but it's not really what I'm looking for, either. I would like to get my hands on that fruit, though." Possibly mostly for himself, to remind his mouth that there was still goodness in the world. "And the passion fruit is the spiciest they have...?"

"At this store, yes," Hernando answered. "We can try another. We can walk through the farmer's market and pick up some fruits too." A glance at Kanan, "Perhaps some ice cream after this store." Because Kanan was a wimp.

Jack was helping herself to the rest of the samples. They were free and Kanan wasn't going to eat them. Would not want them to go to waste. "I might want a small box. Just the weird fruit ones though."

Hernando nodded at her and spoke with the clerk. He smiled and disappeared to put together a small six-piece box for her. The box itself was sleek and done in gold foil. When wrapped, he tied it with a black satin ribbon and put it in a bag.

Jack dug her wallet out and ...looked at Hernando. The clerk accurately interpreted her look and quickly pulled out a calculator and showed her the price in American dollars. She nodded her thanks and paid.

Kanan was feeling so judged right then.

... And also wouldn't complain about ice cream.

"Fruit, ice cream, more chocolate," he mused. "That sounds like a plan. Maybe the next place will have a bit more bite."

Said the man who was well aware that he probably would have been curling his toes at far milder than the one he'd tapped out on, if he hadn't just gone and jumped to the far end of the sample tray.

Jack gave Kanan a look. "Ickle, how spicy do you want? We talking you curl up and cry or my eyeballs sweat or..? What's the field here? We can probably find things that would give a Krogan pause but it'd help to know what we're even trying to fucking find, buddy."

Hernando thanked the clerks and then held the door so they could leave. "The next store specializes in drinks made from cacao and also chocolate bars. They have several Aztec and Mayan-replica drinks as well as some modern-palate drinking chocolates. The chocolate bars range from 70% cocoa to 100%. Very bitter. I was told on the phone that they carry spiced chocolates all year round."

"That sounds promising," Kanan admitted. "A Twi'lek's tastes run bitter and spicy, so if it makes a human tongue uncomfortable," a beat, "if it makes my tongue want to fall out of my head, we're probably on the right track. 'Crying Krogan' might not be far off."

Incidentally, 'Crying Krogan' would make a badass name for a hot sauce.

Jack snorted. "You would melt if you tried to put anything that hot near your mouth, ickle. Your body would simply liquify in defense before you could."

Well that was cheerful. Hernando made a slight moue at Jack's words as his lips pursed in displeasure. "I think your tongue is much different than mine, Kanan. We might have better luck at this next shop."

It was a nice day for a walk. He lead them down cobbled side-streets not unlike the ones on Fandom. There was no auto traffic. Small carts and stalls lined both sides of the road with colorful awnings. Everything from cheap or knockoff sunglasses to live chickens was on display.

Jack paused to look at a display of chickens.

Hernando braved enough to catch her elbow and tug her back along with them.

Which wasn't going to stop Kanan from looking thoughtfully at the chickens.

"These markets are pretty similar to the ones from home," he noted as they walked. "Live animals and all. I mean," he nodded back toward the chickens, "different animals, sure. But it feels the same."

Comfortable. Familiar.

Jack was glaring at Hernando. "Those were pretty cocks, Hernando!"

Hernando looked heavenward. "They are for fighting, Jack. You cannot bring a spurred cockerel back with you, no." He ignored her for the moment and answered Kanan. "These are in the city. Most of them are for the tourist trade." He gestured at knock-off t-shirts. "We will walk through some better markets in a short while." A lopsided smile. "I don't think many markets such as this are different no matter where they are. A booth, an awning, and something for sale. Perhaps a sales person trying to catch the attention of passers by."

They twisted further into the cobbled maze. It wasn't long before they came to a nondescript storefront. It was plain stucco over concrete. A six-panel window had red and pink and white hearts chalked into the corners and inside was a display of baskets. The baskets were filled with cocoa beans and chocolate bars as well as canisters of drink mix were nestled in them.

Hernando gestured at the white wooden door with his lips. "Chocolatería La Rifa," he told them.

"Chocolatería La Rifa," Kanan echoed, and then nodded and made his way inside, looking around curiously once he was through the door. It did seem promising. Hell, he'd gotten this far, maybe this would be the one? Like Hernando had said, bitter. "Okay, let's see what they've got."

There was a glass display case off to one side with formed chocolates in it and some pressed bars with cocoa pods embossed on the tops. Off to one side was a granite counter that looked like a coffee shop setup. There was an espresso machine on the counter behind it.

Tables and stools were plentiful and people sitting at them were enjoying wooden mugs of frothy chocolate beverages. Pastries both regular and chocolate inspired were available. Even a confection that was a tamale made with ground cocoa. The air smelled of hot chocolate but carried the bitterness of true cacao and spiced with chili and cinnamon.

"This was the place I thought perhaps you would find a beverage," Hernando explained. "They come as powder but also in bags like tea. The powdered sort you use boiled water or milk and a whisk and it churns to foam. Then you pour off the liquid and foam and leave the dregs. The bags you would steep like any other tea. They make them in house and could make them stronger or more bitter if you wanted."

He lead the way to the counter and took a seat, once again engaging a clerk in conversation. He was arranging a sort of flight tasting for several of the beverages.

Jack interrupted him, "Tell her to make one as spicy as she can. The kind of thing a real chili lover would want. I want that one."

Hernando raised brows and pursed his lips and wondered how she had known what he was saying. He spoke her request and the barista gave Jack a happy smile.

When she left to prepare their order, Hernando continued. "If you find a drink you like, we can see if they also have it as a chocolate already or see if they can make it up today. They do not seem so busy today, so maybe."

Kanan nodded a little, shooting Jack a faintly amused look.

"You'll have to report back to me on what you think of the drink she makes you," he noted. "If it's spicy and bitter, we might have a winner."

And then he'd have to try it. And then he'd need to take a minute with his face on the table, regretting his whole entire life.

"If it's spicy and sweet, I'm gonna spit it the fuck out," Jack warned, "That's Kaidan's shit. I drink my coffee black and I eat things that cause most people to sweat." She was a pain addict. There were few ways to indulge that were socially acceptable but burning her mouth with hot food or drink, or indulging in food that was spiced enough to leave chemical burns on skin, were some of the ones she used.

Hernando protested mildly, "You want Hera to enjoy it." He..had no experience with Twi'leks at all. "If it is too bitter or too spicy to taste or if the flavors do not compliment one another then I should not think it would be enjoyable." Fooooooooooood snoooooooooooobbb.

Aw, Hernando. Kanan actually chuckled a little bit.

"If one balances out the other well, it should be fine, no matter how hot," he replied. "She thinks of ghost peppers as a light, refreshing snack, Hernando. Twi'lek mouths aren't wired quite the same as human mouths."

And Kanan maintained that 'multiple stomachs' was absolutely cheating.

"And your mouth is far more sensitive than a typical human," Hernando pointed out, "Much less myself or someone like Jack."

Jack grunted, "That's why he's ickle." She was not sorry.

Hernando shot her a half curious but mostly annoyed look. That did not sound like a good word whatever it meant.

The first set of small cups arrived. One large mug was set down for Jack. Among the foam, dried whole peppers could be seen floating. The barista pointed to the small cups in turn and spoke of them to Hernando and Kanan.

"The first three have some sugar added and some vanilla," he explained, "the last three are without and have been made with hotter peppers and peppercorns."

Jack reached eagerly for her mug. "Mine's not sweet, right?"

Hernando shook his head.

She lifted it and took a drink. Sat there for a moment after she had swallowed and then suddenly inhaled sharply. Her smile was a terrible thing and she was even more eagerly taking a second draught. "Yum."

Kanan considered Jack, considered Jack's reaction, considered the way just the smell of her drink was making his eyes water a little, and then, pulling in a breath, said, "Save me a mouthful of that? For last."

He wanted to suffer through the other ones before totally destroying himself, but he had a sneaking suspicion that her drink was going to be a winner.

Jack immediately nodded though her hands were wrapped possessively and covetously around her mug. "They got a hydrant in here? Seltzer bottle or some shit? We're gonna need one for your entire fucking face, ickle."

Hernando examined the ceiling.

"Probably," Kanan agreed, and made a reach for one of the sweeter drinks. Because... he was predictable, mostly. Experimentally, he took a sip.

Paused.

Took another.

"Not for Hera," he noted, decisively. "... But for me, absolutely."

This one was his now. He'd staked out a claim. Grr.

Hernando smiled. "I am glad you like it. Now try the others and perhaps save that one for after so you know you have something to wash your mouth out with."

Jack sniggered and then tried to look innocent.

Kanan looked faintly exasperated, but made a reach for the one the next level of spiciness up. Took another experimental sip.

Furrowed his brow a little. Shook his head.

"Not enough," he sighed. "The sweet is fine, but it eats the bitterness almost entirely and then it just kicks me in the mouth with the spice. Probably fine for most people, not quite what I'm looking for either."

Hernando took the rest of that one away from Kanan and kept it for himself. It sounded delightful. "Do you need water or anything to reset your taste buds?" he asked courteously.

Jack reached for her flask and remembered. Her hand went back to her mug with the casual air of someone who had not just been about to offer the dry guy a mouthful of potent whiskey. She asked instead, "They got Coke here?"

Hernando nodded. "Real Coke, Kanan. Like from Christmas." Not the fountain garbage America sold.

Kanan watched that reach, and that retreat, and smiled crookedly.

"Coke sounds fine," he agreed. "That should do the trick well enough, anyway."

And... wasn't whiskey.

Sigh.

Hernando spoke to the barista and Kanan was promptly served a large glass of proper Coke.

Jack's entire air said 'what reach you saw nothing'. Also reminded herself not to put any in the beverage she was savoring even if goddamn would it go well together. She'd need to try some of this on Fjord.

"If the sweetness is not what you think would appeal to Hera perhaps it is time to start on the other three?" Hernando asked. This.. would be interesting.

Kanan took a moment to just kind of purge the spices from his mouth with his glass of Coke, and then... nodded. Slowly.

"Right. So... the next one." He looked at the selection. Pulled in a breath. Reached for one of the peppery-looking ones. "Wish me luck."

He knew what he was getting himself into.

He still knocked back a healthy mouthful, and made a bit of a sound of mild protest as the bitterness hit him in the mouth first. The heat seemed to be taking a moment longer.

Which was how you knew this was going to be good.

Hernando watched with a raised eyebrow. He sipped the sweet but took a big drink of the one he knew was going to make his mouth sad? Kanan.

Jack watched curiously and then reached for the cup and whatever was left in it.

If... if anybody needed Kanan for the next, oh, ten minutes... he was going to just...

Just... rest his face... on the nice, cool table. For a while.

And make a very sad noise.

"There is ice in your Coke, Kanan," Hernando felt it prudent to point out for him.

Jack knocked back what was left and swished it around her mouth for a second. Considered and shook her head. "Mild."

Kanan reached up one hand and made a rude gesture that he'd picked up since coming to Earth.

Jack reached around Hernando and swatted Kanan lightly up the back of the head. "Drink your Coke, dumbass. Sitting there in pain is the idiot thing to do." She loved you, Kanan.

Hernando wanted to know, "Is that more what you were thinking for Hera?"

Kanan nodded, and then reached out and grabbed his Coke, and only then sat up to drink it.

"That. But more."

This whole flavor journey was going to get someone killed.

And just wait until he went shopping for spices on Lothal.

"There are two more," Hernando said with a faint smile, "and that was just from this round."

"And then you can try mine!" Jack chirped at him. Sharing was good, right?

Did Kanan look mildly terrified? Yes. Yes Kanan did look mildly terrified. He was resolutely reaching for the next drink, though, pulling in a slow breath, nodding, and taking another mouthful.

At least he didn't rest his face on the table this time. But the reach for his Coke was almost immediate. Possibly slightly panicked.

He did manage to choke out a, 'closer,' as he went, at least.

Jack stole the rest of that one too. She bobbed her head in a slow nod. "The bitter is more mild. Kinda.. astringent instead of the sharp bitter bite. The spice is ok. That has some nice burn and you can taste the difference between the peppercorn and the chilis."

She huddled around her cup, "This is better."

Hernando eyed Jack a little. He spoke to the barista and ordered a small chocolate pan; a dinner roll sized pastry with chocolate powder folded through it. He pushed the plate toward Kanan. "Eat."

Kanan was visibly sweating, here, but he nodded, perhaps a little numbly, and reached for the pastry with slightly pained eyes.

"Okay," he managed ."What am I dealing with, here?"

Was this for him or for Hera?

"A piece of bread to help your mouth recover," Hernando said wryly, "It is for you. Hera would not likely need one if she enjoys spice."

"You look like your about to faint, Kanan," Jack noted when she looked at him. "Take a break for a few minutes." She took a drink of her beverage. "Your regret is going to be real tomorrow." Jack began humming Johnny Cash's 'Ring of Fire' under her breath.

Kanan didn't get the reference, which was really kind of tragic. No cowboy should go through life not having experienced Cash.

"Worth it," he muttered, tearing a few pieces of bread from the pastry and popping them into his mouth, looking faintly relieved when they didn't immediately assault his face. "She's going to appreciate this."

... Force, she had better appreciate this.

Jack would slap his head and for that matter Hernando would too if that 'she had better' comment had been made aloud. It wasn't so they didn't.

"You said she'd appreciate shitty gas station chocolates that are more paraffin than cocoa," Jack pointed out, "So.. yeah? You'll have a fun story to tell her too. 'And this is how I assaulted my very own face with regret that I put into my mouth on purpose because I care about you and want you to be happy'."

Hernando smiled faintly.

Kanan hadn't meant it that way! But he'd be damn sad if he spent tomorrow in a state of gastronomic distress all for nothing.

"Minus the last little bit," Kanan said weakly. "It's a nice gesture, no pressure." And another piece of bread, torn off and eaten. "I really, really hope there's no pressure."

Was going to kind of worry about that, now.

Jack eyerolled, "You'll be fine, ickle. Goddamn, buddy-boy. If she likes it, good. If she hates it, you'll both have a good laugh about it. You know that. Breathe."

Hernando watched Kanan and said, "You can buy antacids over the counter at any convenience or grocery store. These will help with your stomach." He knew what that song Jack was humming was meant for. Several meanings including the original that Cash had intended.

And someday, Kanan would find out. And just groan.

"Antacids," he echoed, a little weakly. He was beginning to see a hitch or two in his plan to surprise Hera with dinner tomorrow. "Right." And another healthy bite of bread. "How many more are left to try?"

"One for this round," Hernando said and pointed his lips at the cup. "If this is not suitable, we can try six more." He was pretty certain Kanan would die if he tried more than a few more.

Jack was watching Kanan. "Do we need to dump some charcoal down you, ickle?"

"Yes," Kanan said immediately. And then shook his head and blew out a breath and abandoned his bread for the next in the round. "But let's see how I manage this one, first."

Down the hatch, Jarrus.

To his credit, after a few seconds, he didn't put his head down on the table or make any weird noises. He just sat very, very still.

He was sweating a bit?

Jack took one look at him and calmly went to get the trash can. She took the swing top off it and set it on a nearby chair and sat the rest of it right next to Kanan. "Bread, ickle, eat the fucking bread," she said gently. Threw Hernando a look.

Hernando watched this and gave a small nod. He said something to the barista and got a smile in return before she went to package some of the mix up.

Kanan pulled in a slow breath. And kind of numbly reached for the bread again. And was going to just take a very large bite that was equally numb. And ignore the way it felt like he was probably going to die.

Another bite of bread.

And then, in a very, very small voice:

"Yeah."

"I've already told them to pack it up. How much do you wish to buy and do you wish the bars of this as well?" Hernando asked him.

"You're not getting any of mine," Jack said, turning slightly away from Kanan as though he might reach for it. "You look like you're about to lose your last few meals and this is not going to waste."

Considering how pale Kanan had managed to go, this was probably a good call, Jack.

"... Yes?"

That was a yes to the bars, Hernando. Please. Save him with your fluency in Spanish and your merciful initiative-taking while he just kind of refrains from sobbing into his bread like a broken man.

Hernando looked at Kanan and gave a nod. He turned back to the barista and placed the order for a large canister of the mix and also some of the chocolate bars. Did he want all the same bars?

Jack interrupted, "No. He wants a couple of that one and then you said there was like six more of the spicier drinks? One each of those. And if there's some fucking solid form of this?" She tapped the side of her mug, "He wants a couple of those and I want an entire box of them."

Kanan just nodded. The agreeable if faraway nod of a man who had seen some shit.

Jack looked at him. "Bathroom's where?" she asked Hernando.

He glanced around and pointed.

"Come on, Kanan," Jack said, standing and reaching for his arm, "Time for some quality time."

Really, at this point, she could probably shove him in a walk-in freezer and leave him there and Kanan wouldn't argue. He stood, looking faintly dazed, and nodded again.

That wasn't chocolate. Whatever it was he'd just put into his mouth was chemical warfare.

Jack got him up and headed into the bathroom. She didn't read the sign on the door because at this point she did not fucking care what bathroom she went into as long as it had a toilet. It did. She helped him to the floor and nudged the seat up with her foot. "Purge," she instructed in the tone of someone who would make him if he couldn't do it on his own.

... Yeah, he really didn't need to be told twice. That chocolate came back up with just as much burn as it had going down, and Kanan was pretty sure he enjoyed being shot through by blaster fire back during the war more than this.

There were some things that were better left never reaching one's sinuses.

But hey, at least his hair didn't need to be held back.

Jack bobbed her head in a nod when he began heaving and went to get him some wet paper towels to clean up with. "So," she said, waiting for him to be done retching, "I have a suggestion. Don't eat the mynock you're feeding Hera. Get a different meat for you. Have side items that you can share. Prevent this from happening again."

Kanan's reply was mostly just a dazed nod. He was pretty sure his face was going to just... melt off. Was that a thing faces did? Probably. He was reasonably certain that if faces could melt off, this was the exact situation in which it most often happened.

"I'll... I'll pick up some nerf, too."

Solid plan, Jarrus.

"Yes," Jack said solidly, "and this part? Never happened." She pushed the wet paper towels into his hand. "The story's amusing enough without this part."

Kanan snorted at that.

... Instant regret.

So, his face was being pressed into those paper towels for a moment while he wanted for the fire in his sinuses to fade, and then with a sigh, he was cleaning up in earnest.

"Pretty sure," he noted vaguely, "Hera's going to like the chocolate."

Jack huffed a laugh, "Probably. I mean, I liked it." That wasn't saying much because Jack would eat anything and drink most things. Except plain milk. Plain milk grossed her out. She stepped out of the stall and then out of the bathroom to guard the door and make sure Kanan had some privacy while he got his shit correct.

Hernando walked over and silently handed her a small bottle of mouthwash.

Jack looooooooooooked at him. She considered why he had to be home by six and snorted a small laugh. "Thanks." Reaching back through the door she waggled her hand and the bottle. "You smooth things over?"

He nodded. "I explained that he has a very low tolerance for spice but that his partner enjoys them and he wanted to find just the perfect thing. They have seen this before." A beat. "I put the trash can back."

"Thanks," Jack nodded at him.

Kanan collected the bottle and did a very thorough session of rinse-and-spit in the sink. Splashed water over his face. Did another good rise-and-spit for good measure. Contemplated just taking a swig to get the taste good and gone. Grimaced and put the cap on the bottle again instead.

A minute later he was slipping out of the bathroom again, holding up the mouthwash bottle and looking maybe the tiniest bit awkward about it as he mumbled a thanks.

Hernando simply nodded and took it, replacing it in his pocket. "Your chocolates are ready at the register whenever you are ready to go."

Jack hooked her fingers in her beltloops and headed that way. "We're goin' to a farmer's market next?"

"No," Hernando said, "Next is ice cream. Kanan should have something in his stomach that is not acidic." Probably not chocolate ice cream.

"Could probably just bury my entire head in ice cream right now," Kanan muttered to himself as he stepped up to the counter. Eyed the chocolate with a faintly detached wariness, and then put on a small smile for the benefit of the clerk before pulling out his wallet to pay.

The clerk gave him a genuine and sympathetic smile when she made his change and handed the bag over. The canister of chocolate was in its own little woven bag with an Aztec print design. The bars had been tied in small stacks with ribbons.

Jack took her turn next, eyeing her stack of bars with satisfaction. She eyed the canisters of pre-packaged chocolate. "Hernando? They got one of those that's not bitter? Like, sweet? The kind of sweet that makes Sparkle's coffees look tame?"

Hernando gave her such a look and went to check them out. He read the labels and asked the clerk for a recommendation. She pointed at one and he collected it to hand to Jack. "It is a dark chocolate mix made from the bars and not just the beans. It is also made with local vanilla. I believe this will suit." He narrowed his eyes at her a little. "If you give too much to Sparkle and make him ill, I will be quite cross, Jack."

She snorted at him. "Not the plan," she tried to reassure him, "He comes up and cooks for me sometimes. It's just kind of nice to have something in the fucking place that I can make, you know? Cocoa, I can do."

He examined that statement and nodded.

Kanan looked briefly thoughtful in the direction of the sweet chocolate drink.

Very briefly. And then he looked faintly green, and then he looked up at the ceiling while he waited for Jack to finish paying.

"So, it's ice cream, marketplace, Lothal for... another marketplace," he said. At the ceiling. "Was there anything else people wanted to do while we're here?"

"Not unless you wanted to do some sight-seeing," Hernando offered, "I lived here. It is not new to me." And the sooner they were out of Mexico City the happier he would truly be. It was only a matter of time before he bumped into someone he knew. At best it would be Daniela and at worst it would be Lito.

Jack finished paying and took her purchase. Hers was far less fancy than Kanans had been done up but hers was also not a gift. "Nah. We can come back some other time," she said with a small shrug, "Let's get some ice cream into Kanan. Come on, ickle, out the door with you. Hup hup hup."

Kanan nodded, gave one more mutter of thanks to the clerk for all the help, and made his way to the door.

He... might not have been entirely subtle about pulling in a big relieved breath of air that wasn't chocolate-scented, no.

"So, which way to the ice cream?"

He needed the fruitiest, least chocolatey option on the planet.

Hernando smiled and tossed his head to the left. A few stores down was a gelato cafe. He headed in that direction. "I told you this is a shopping district."

Jack made an oooh noise and tore a bee line through the people on the sidewalk leading to the store. "Kanan Kanan Kanan they have strawwwwwberry," she chirped back at him and pushed through the doors into the store.

Hernando chuckled. "I am sure," he said gravely, "they have other flavors as well."

"Strawberry does sound just about my speed, though," Kanan replied, smiling crookedly. "Let's see if anything else catches my eye."

He'd get a scoop of anything fruity and sweet at this point. Or maybe a scoop of each.

Hernando followed them in. Jack was already pointing out her order because there was a universal language in pointing. The gelateria had all the standard flavors such as chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla as well as compound flavors like cookies and milk, peppermint bon bon, rocky road. There were some interesting mixes like the lemon basil sorbetto and a blueberry basil black tea sorbetto, and it looked like a risk had been taken with kumquat caramel chip.

Kanan perused the selection with faintly pursed lips, wanting something different from the typical strawberry, vanilla, and (urk) chocolate options. Briefly considering the lemon basil and then deciding that his insides would very strongly disagree with throwing citrus at them just yet. Considered instead a butter pecan option, or maybe the cinnamon peach.

... Ended up waiting his turn, and then pointing out a scoop of each. He had no idea how they'd taste together, but so help him, they weren't chocolate.

Jack had both the basils and a scoop of strawberry on top because she was a monster.

Hernando had a single scoop of vanilla simply because he was being polite. He wasn't much in the mood for ice cream but did not wish to make the others feel pressured. He took a San Pellegrino Blood Orange soda as well. He spoke to the cashier and successfully sniped the check from the other two.

It was a nice day out so he went to take a table on the patio in front of the store.

"Did he just pay?" Kanan glanced sidelong at Jack. "I think he just paid."

He was really going to have to learn Spanish.

Jack shrugged and nodded. Her mouth was already full of ice cream. She squashed it to one side and answered, "Yeah. He told the clerk the ice cream was his treat and not to let us pay for it."

"Huh." Kanan glanced at the door. And then shrugged and headed outside to join Hernando on the patio, holding the door for Jack with his elbow. "So, uh. Thank you," he said, once he was within earshot. A pause. "I mean, for the ice cream, but for arranging all of this."

Even if he'd kind of taken a 'or die trying' mentality with it, himself.

Jack bonked Kanan lightly on the way out and kicked a chair around to sit on it backward.

"It was my pleasure," Hernando assured him, "Thank you for asking me. I enjoy showing off my city and I am a romantic at heart so I am happy to help enable a romantic gesture for you." Even though he knew it was not.. romantic-romantic, to use a silly gradeschool term. He smiled a little. "Sparkle is going to scream in notes you will be able to hear from the island and we will be halfway up the seaboard."

Jack shot him a sly look and drawled, "We do not need to know about your goddamn sex life, Hernando."

He made a face at her. "I am taking him to a musical. One I do not believe he knows exists. I think it will make him happy." Or it would make him incredibly uncomfortable that his boyfriend was going to elevenses again. One of those. He was hopeful of the happy.

Kanan took a moment to thoughtfully eat a few bites of beautiful, life-saving ice cream. He could practically feel the heavens opening to smile down on this snack, after all of that spice earlier.

"He'll be happy," he said, definitively, "because it's coming from you. He's completely smitten, that's easy enough to see."

How Kanan managed to pick this up from Sparkle in one evening of awkwardly flailing over cupcakes but still constantly panicked over Hera was anybody's best guess.

Jack snorted. "It's more than smit. Or smut. Though there's also both of those involved. He gets the same sort of stupid smile on his face that you do when you talk about him."

Hernando gave her a sour look and pretended not to know what she meant. He loftily ate a bite of ice cream. "This is the hope. I enjoy seeing his happiness. He is a good man."

"Damn right he is," Jack concurred. "I'm keeping him."

Hernando gave her a slightly narrowed-eyed look over his next bite of ice cream. Bitch don't even.

Kanan just looked at the both of them, faintly amused.

"Starting a collection of little brothers, Jack?"

Jack shrugged easily. "Might do. Kaidan did and it seems to be working out pretty fucking well for him, right? I get Sparkle. He's easy to understand. Like Kanan. People like you are kind of confusing but these two fuckers? Beau? I get them. They're not complicated."

Hernando's eyebrows rose a little at the statement that Sparkle was uncomplicated but he did not challenge it. He simply did not agree. Sparkle was very complicated but he was also the sort of man that it was worth the time to untangle.

Kanan got what she meant, at least, nodding a little. There was a sort of mutual understanding, under all the damage and the teeth that they all needed to grow to get by. Hernando was... something else. Almost intimidating for it. For that put-together veneer and that optimistic attitude that went with it.

Seemed fragile, but had teeth if he found something worth biting for.

"They're your people," he observed. "They get it."

Sorry, Hernando. You kind of didn't.

Hernando would acknowledge all of that if he heard it. He was pleasant until the moment someone hurt a person he cared about. Then he stopped trying to be nice. It was a feeling almost anyone would have. There was that optimism showing again. He could acknowledge that he did not have the perspective any of the people spoken of would because it was true. He did not live with the kind of emotional damage that any one of them did. He respected them the more for being able to live with it.

Jack lifted a shoulder, "They're mine. They can walk away if they don't like it. It comes with a whole lot of shit." She took a bite of ice cream and made a noise that might have been a laugh if her mouth wasn't full of ice cream. "I keep getting told that all the best people do."

Kanan smiled wryly at that, taking another bite of ice cream, himself.

"That's what I keep hearing," he agreed. "And then I end up with pushy family calling me things like 'ickle bickle.'"

It wasn't a complaint.

"Look, fucker, you called yourself that," Jack pointed out good-naturedly. "It's pretty much the first goddamn thing you said to me, so fuckya if you don't like it; you should have chosen better."

Hernando watched curiously. Ah. That explained the strange term. "Ickle bickle?" he repeated mildly.

Jack smirked at him. "Yes. Kaidan called me his ickle bickle bebeh sister. Kanan then opened his fucking mouth to say he was the ickle bickle bebeh brother and since that asshole's younger than me on the family fucking tree.." Beatific smile.

Kanan shrugged. Hey. It wasn't 'kid.'

"It's sticking."

"As long as nobody but maybe Kaidan calls you that, all is good," Jack said, "Anyone else is going to get a punch in the mouth." It was her word for him, damnit.

Hernando laughed quietly and shook his head. "Your affection is very fierce, Jack."

"That's one fucking word for it," she agreed. She finished her ice cream. It had been bolted like all her food usually was. It wasn't that she hadn't enjoyed it because she had but that is what made her eat it all the faster.

Kanan just kind of smiled fondly, content with enjoying the banter and the ice cream on a nice day. Helped him get his mind off of any anxiety over tomorrow. And, uh, soothed pretty much everything from his mouth to his guts in the process.

It was nice.

"It'd be weird if anyone else did it," he decided. "You get exclusive ickle rights. You can get that in writing if you want." He ate another few spoonfuls of ice cream, and then added, "How are we looking for time?"

"Your word's good enough for me, ickle," Jack said easily because it was true.

"We are far ahead of schedule," Hernando said with a smile, "I had several other shops lined up and we only needed the two of them. We have plenty of time to go to the market or do any other sight-seeing you want to do before the scheduled portal. We could even take an earlier one back if you wish."

"Might be good to," Kanan noted. "Find a place to hide the chocolate, grab the ship, head to Lothal, take in that market..."

Hopefully not attract unwanted attention. Buy some assorted meat and spices. Maybe grab some jogan fruits for himself because so help him, he deserved them, dammit...

"You can ditch everything at my place if you want," Jack offered. "My fridge is mostly empty and it's not as though Hera would come up there for anything. It's convenient for you to slip up to."

Hernando simply nodded along with the plan.

"That sounds perfect," Kanan replied, smiling gratefully at Jack. "So, new plan. Maybe swing by the market for some fruit, head back to the island, stash the chocolate in Jack's fridge, take the ship up, do some more shopping."

It would be kind of cuddly in the ship, but hey, he'd stuffed sharks in there, once. It'd be fine.

Hernando finished his ice cream and stood. He collected Jack's trash since she was sitting closest to him and deposited it in the recycling container. "Then, shall we?"

Jack gave him a curious look when he stole her trash because it was trash and if he wanted it she wasn't going to fight him for it. She stood and righted her chair. "Lead on MacDuff."

Hernando visibly winced. "Lay on, Macduff," he corrected in a mutter, "It is lay on." Once an art professor, always an academic pedant.

"Lay on, McGruff," Kanan supplied, helpfully.

Maybe he was serious. Maybe he'd seen the Crime Dog commercial just once and was absolutely trolling. Either way, he was already tossing out his garbage and headed for the edge of the patio.

All things considered, today was actually going pretty well.

But fuck chocolate.

[OOC: NFI and NFB besides that Kanan, Jack, and Hernando took a Portal, please! Preplayed with biotic_psychotic and... we are probably not done playing this disaster trip, but we wanted to get something up before actual Valentine's day, dangit.]